I Am an Epic Nerd

Maybe I should've phrased that differently

A Media Shmedia column

by Scott Patrick Wagner

I never considered myself a nerd. Well — I had a collection of thousands of comic books as a kid, but that doesn't count. (Shut up.) I mean, I thought the Lord of the Rings movies were good filmmaking, but you didn't find me buying the DVD Collection with 900 hours of bonus material. Sure, I went through a Dune phase and a Stranger in a Strange Land phase in college, but who didn't do some experimenting in college? I'm not the type to dress up like a Klingon, or go to conventions where people do.

But there's something on television right now that's making me question my orientation. I find its scope, its fullness, its concurrent topicality and timelessness, of such an impactful nature that my hair is starting to part down the middle and my pocket is growing a protector. And I don't know how to reconcile these feelings when I still have complete apathy for anything with either "dungeons" or "dragons" in its title.

The show in question — in its fifth and final season, and set for its ultimate conclusion on March 20 — is the brainchild of an evil genius named Ronald D. Moore, and has shown just how fine the fine actress Mary McDonnell can be. It is called Battlestar Galactica.

Yes — I know what your reaction might be. I've been in my share of "quality" conversations, debating the excellence of Mad Men and Lost and 30 Rock. And when I say, "How about that Battlestar Galactica?", I see the flinch in their eyes. That look of disdain mixed with sympathy for the special-needs viewer that I apparently am. And perhaps I had the same dismissive attitude before I decided rent the first-season DVD box to see what the fuss was about — and got myself addicted.

Mock me if you must, but in my defense I believe that I'm not an epic nerd, so much as I'm a nerd for the epic. And the epic arc of this series is monumental in its reach, ultimately asking not only "Who are we?" but "What are we?" Two weeks ago, I had to watch the episode twice, because the information thrown at us was so revelatory, so undermining of its own status quo, that I couldn't wrap my head around all of it the first time. This past Friday, I also had to watch the show twice. But this time it was because the storytelling — in an episode about family and relationships — was so sublime that I couldn't glean every nuance at once.

Because I forgot the background of one of the characters, I hopped on the Google and discovered an entire Battlestar wiki (battlestarwiki.org), which is improbably available in at least eight languages, including Polish and Bahasa Melayu. The wiki answered my question efficiently, with a little more information than I'd expected, and an entire cosmos of further information that I avoided — the line between drinking in the virtues and drinking the Kool-Aid being such a narrow one.

Hey, I know how it sounds. This is a show about robots in space. And it's an update of a Star Wars ripoff from the '70s with Lorne Greene, created by the folks who brought you The Fall Guy. And Manimal. But what if the robots looked like us, and lurked among us? And what if, further, the differences between us and them started becoming vaguer and iffier? Except that they believe in one God and we believe in several. And are they among us, or are we among them? Such are the questions, plumbed to their fullest, of this current series.

I could probably find a way to tie in the resonance of the show to what's going on in the world today. And heaven knows, we Americans are certainly reevaluating our collective identity as Obama Nation continues to unfold. But right now I'm feeling too much the fanboy to be that deep. Squeee!

If you haven't been following the series, I don't recommend jumping into the remaining new episodes unprepared. You will be lost, and you will hate and disparage me. Instead, put the first disc of season one in your Netflix queue. And try to avoid any spoilers before you reach the surprises in the narrative, so you can enjoy the "holy crap!" reveals of each robot as much as the rest of us. And I assure you, with every fiber of my Professional Media Observer being, that the experience will not be as epically nerdy as it sounds.